Flux...
Full Frontal
Last night, went to watch a play i got to play a part in and then turned away because of the pregnacy. There was a double surprise because it was a double bill and the play that came after that has a beautiful idea of creating an ideal much better than a research i have done in TTRP. Something i had not been able to manage and create out of some flux ideas I had along the way, and than which the female director has done in this case. She has done it beautifully, re-doing a play from the 60s along with interviews in the past and imbedding what one would think of history today.
Then i woke up at 6am this morning.
Part of me maturing to be a mum is to deal with my own guilt and disappointment, if not, of being unable to do the things i selfishly wanted to do.
Making decisions of walking the path of life chosen.
To learn to grief for what i have lost in order embrace the new life chosen.
What a hard choice.....
In between GUILT and DISAPPOINTMENT
the problem as been, it always took me sometime to figure out what to do with my life. My ideal of what i wanted to do came in between searching and much flux. And marriage and family that came later, came because it came.
我的理想与生活
该如何找到一个平衡点？
真是可笑，
或许在寻找当中可以更独立的寻求并设立自己。
自己是什么，在许许多多选择中就慢慢形成。
还找不到自己，或许就也无法告诉别人要如何去寻求自己的人生吧。
我想，可能我不该为讨生活教那么多生活戏剧。
作为一个在寻求的人来说， 在找到生活平衡点之前教别人能为人生做些什么，实在是多余。
Last night, went to watch a play i got to play a part in and then turned away because of the pregnacy. There was a double surprise because it was a double bill and the play that came after that has a beautiful idea of creating an ideal much better than a research i have done in TTRP. Something i had not been able to manage and create out of some flux ideas I had along the way, and than which the female director has done in this case. She has done it beautifully, re-doing a play from the 60s along with interviews in the past and imbedding what one would think of history today.
Then i woke up at 6am this morning.
Part of me maturing to be a mum is to deal with my own guilt and disappointment, if not, of being unable to do the things i selfishly wanted to do.
Making decisions of walking the path of life chosen.
To learn to grief for what i have lost in order embrace the new life chosen.
What a hard choice.....
In between GUILT and DISAPPOINTMENT
the problem as been, it always took me sometime to figure out what to do with my life. My ideal of what i wanted to do came in between searching and much flux. And marriage and family that came later, came because it came.
我的理想与生活
该如何找到一个平衡点？
真是可笑，
或许在寻找当中可以更独立的寻求并设立自己。
自己是什么，在许许多多选择中就慢慢形成。
还找不到自己，或许就也无法告诉别人要如何去寻求自己的人生吧。
我想，可能我不该为讨生活教那么多生活戏剧。
作为一个在寻求的人来说， 在找到生活平衡点之前教别人能为人生做些什么，实在是多余。
Labels: Before you are born
posted by Jewel at
6:23 am
1 Comments
